For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
I walked into the apartment. The floors were brand new. I had searched and searched for an apartment I could afford. I needed nice floors because my baby wasn’t walking nor was he crawling yet. He was only 7 months old. I was a little unsure about the neighbors, but it was close to work and the rent was cheap.
Before I found the apartment, my child and I lived with my parents for 6 weeks so I could get on my feet, save some money and find an attorney.
I had no idea what was down the road for me. I did not have a relationship with God yet. I was on the road to depression, worry, anxiety, fear, etc. There were so many things I worried about. I felt horrible about not having my child’s mom and dad in the same house. I worried about not being able to support my child. I was anxious about going to court. I felt guilty for getting a divorce. I was exhausted doing it on my own, especially when the baby was up all night with the flu. There were so many sad feelings.
Fast forward two years in to my separation. I felt depressed, anxious, worried, guilty etc. 24 hours, 7 days a week. It didn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t shake my feelings. It was a cold winter night, almost Christmas. I was on my knees, looking up to heaven, quietly I told our dear Lord that I cannot do this anymore. I explained that my heart hurts and I can’t go on like this. I knew I couldn’t take my own life because where would that leave my precious baby. But I begged God to stop the pain. I begged and begged and pleaded to God to relieve the pain I constantly felt.
Just then my brother called(sometimes God works fast!). At that time he lived thousands of miles from me. He asked me how I was doing. Not well, I answered. He asked if I had heard of a church called Willow Creek. I said yes and explained that a lady at work had given me a brochure 6 months prior for their divorce recovery program. He urged me to give it a try. I hesitantly went to a church service. Then I went the next week and the next, etc. I signed up for the divorce recovery program. The first night I went I had to pick my jaw off the floor. There must have been over 100 people for the divorce recovery program. I thought I was the only one going through a divorce! All these people were in a similar situation.
As the days went by, the sunshine started to break through the clouds. I started to feel relief from the pain I was feeling. Little by little God started blessing me. He sent me a good friend. He sent me financial help. He sent me promotions at work. He sent me the gift of feeling good. He sent me the gift of hope. He sent me a wonderful church. The list goes on and on.
Baby steps. Little by little things got better and better. There were so many times I saw how the road I was taking could have gone bad. Such as the time there was a fire in my apartment. It could have gone very bad, but it didn’t. I have felt his protection, guidance and love.
I share this with you so that you know; if you are struggling right now, please let God help you. Let him handle your pain. Don’t do life without God. He will protect you. He will give you what you need. Your dreams will not only come true, but they will be better than you ever imagined. I am pinching myself today. God has blessed me. He will do the same for you.
Start by praying to God and He will guide you after that.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I am hurting. I don’t know how to break out of this pain. Please help me break out of this pain. Please guide me in the way that I am supposed to go. I give all my pain to you. Thank you Lord for taking care of me and my family. In your name, Amen
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6